To Lose Her
by Rosa Cotton
Summary: The last afternoon in the home under the ground... Peter is confronted with the consequences of his refusing to admit what feelings he has when he discovers Wendy is Red-Handed Jill. PeterWendy.


Disclaimer: _Peter Pan_, all characters, places, and related terms belong to J.M. Barrie, and Universal Pictures, Columbia Pictures, and Revolution Studios.

Author's Note: I was inspired to flush out this scene and get into Peter's head when watching the movie one night. I think both Jeremy and Rachel performed this part of the movie very well. The rating is just to be safe. Feedback is welcomed.

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To Lose Her

Peter dramatically slices a watermelon in two with his sword. The boys cheer as their leader claims he will get rid of this new pirate. When he looks up, he is surprised to see Wendy standing with a sword in her hand, glaring at him, anger burning in her usually soft eyes.

"Then ready yourself, Peter Pan," she says sternly. Peter cannot recall her ever calling him by his whole name before. "For _I_ am Red-Handed Jill!" she announces proudly.

Peter's confident smile vanishes, and the fire of bloodlust in his eyes dims as he gazes silently at her in astonishment and puzzlement while the boys cry out in surprise and disbelief.

"'Tis true, John," Wendy says airily, a lazy smile touching her lips. "Your sister has been invited…" her eyes travel to her weapon before returning to her brother, "to piracy!"

Peter now wipes all emotion from his face and pushes the boys aside, walking slowly up to Wendy. He draws his lips into a straight line, studying her face. He does not like the strange sparkle in her eyes nor the expression on her face. Wendy, who is his mother and friend, is now his enemy – and an ally of _Hook_. This thought causes his blood to start boiling with anger and hurt, and his ears begin to pound. His eyes lock with Wendy's, both pairs shining with anger for different reasons – unlike that night when they danced among the fairies and their eyes were filled with happiness and tenderness. The uneasy tension which has hung between them since that night rises as the air around the two grows heavy. Here, indeed, the girl before Peter is Red-Handed Jill, not his Wendy.

"But, Mother...Hook is a fiend!" Tootles protests.

"And a bounder!" adds Slightly.

Peter barely is aware of their comments, focusing his attention on the girl before him.

"On the contrary…," Wendy answers, glancing at the boys, then looking back at Peter, "I find Captain Hook to be a man of _feeling_."

Peter's jaw tightens. Both he and Wendy understand the meaning behind her words. Because of their argument, she now believes he does not have feelings. And because of that, Wendy – _his_ Wendy – has turned to Hook. This was not supposed to happen. He did not want her to go off and become a pirate; he did not want Hook to take her away from him.

Without a word, silently raging at Wendy's words, Peter lunges forward. He is barely aware of what he is doing. His sword clashes with Wendy's several times; then, nearly as soon as it has started, it ends. Wendy's sword flies from her hand, and the point of Peter's sword rests against her throat. She does not flinch at the cold steel against her skin. Their eyes lock, their chests rise and fall rapidly.

The boys all gasp. "Mother and Father are fighting again!" Tootles exclaims sadly.

"Sir...," Wendy says coldly, holding her head high and proud, not showing a hint of fear that Peter now has her at his mercy, "you are ungallant and deficient."

Peter's heart is struck two hard blows from her words. Yet outwardly he shows no sense of hurt, though his eyes harden. He tightens his grip on his sword. "How am I deficient?" he asks in a low, controlled voice, his anger cooling a little.

"You're just a boy," comes the whispered reply.

Peter's lips part slightly. He searches Wendy's eyes, which look on him with a bit of pity in their depths. Yet it is still Red-Handed Jill who stands before him; who chooses Hook – a man of feeling – over him, a boy; who claims he cannot give her what she seeks…or refuses to; who silently challenges him to cut her down right here and now. A tiny shudder runs through his frame, and his anger vanishes completely, replaced by pain. Slowly he lowers his sword to his side, holding her gaze the whole time, which is deprived of emotion. She has both angered and hurt him greatly, yet he could never harm her – whether she is Red-Handed Jill or Wendy. Neither one speaks.

"Are you really to be a pirate, Mother?" Michael asks.

Wendy looks at her youngest brother. "No."

A smile spreads across Peter's face. Red-Handed Jill is gone, and he has not lost Wendy.

"We're going home," Wendy continues seriously.

The boys cry in protest. The light disappears from Peter's face, and his heart suffers yet a third blow, this one worse than the others. Yet Wendy is more concerned about the boys than him and moves past him without a kind word or glance to reason with her brothers and calm the others. With his back to them, Peter listens to her say they must return before their parents forget them. Biting his lower lip, he feels tears begin to form in his eyes. His heart cracks because of Wendy's neglect towards him. Things have not been mended between them. Now he knows what it is like for one not to show any feeling toward him. So, he must also show no evidence that this unexpected parting is causing wave upon wave of sadness to wash over him. He must not say anything to hint that he wants her to stay. He will not stop her. He shall still lose her, only not to a pirate. He draws no comfort from this.

Regaining his composure, he slowly faces the others who are arguing still with Wendy. They become silent as they turn their eyes to Peter, waiting for him to decide the matter. "If you wish it," he says softly without emotion, ever so slightly nodding his head.

"If you wish it?!" Slightly repeats.

"_If you wish it!!!!"_ Peter snaps angrily, his voice breaking, losing his composure.  He throws down his sword and flies into the air and out of the house under the ground.

As he speeds about, Peter is ashamed at his show of emotion, and in front of Wendy. He should have been strong, showing that he, too, did not care just as she. But he failed. Perhaps Red-Handed Jill was right…

Peter sets out to arrange an escort for Wendy and her brothers. Yes, he will miss her, but then soon he will forget that there had ever been a girl in Neverland.

THE END


End file.
